Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Over the last few days, especially the last two, I've had my thoughts on commitments and what they mean to us as human beings. All this thought comes about because of a frustration about getting things started. For all this to make some sense I have to mention Brad. I have known him over a year though I haven't kept an exact record of the time, but there was a dramatic turn in our relationship in February of this year when he asked me if he could be my roommate. I instinctively said "yes" and Brad's expression was "WOW." I understood the potential this new change meant as far as growth as concerned.

So plans were discussed and their implimentation was started. Brad was collecting his belongings together, as well as the available funds, in anticipation of the move west. While he was moving his things over to his father's place and consolidating funds in one bank account, I was out apartment hunting all while working full-time plus carrying out my own interests in studying nature and taking photos, a great combination.

Looking for an apartment, any apartment, one or two bedroom, was a challenge, not alone because of the time element as limited as time was, but also because those offering accommodations didn't often really give a full disclosure of what it was they were offering. One two bedroom apartment I viewed in Vancouver early on was too small even though it was a two bedroom unit. It better suited a couple of students that had few belongings than someone that had enough to fill a large two bedroom unit. Then I looked at another unit, a two bedroom, on Kingsway near Joyce SkyTrain station. It turned out to be smaller than some one bedroom apartments I've seen over the years. The listing for that one I found on Craig's List. I made a few more inquiries only to be disappointed by the waste of time. Again, full disclosure was an issue. I abandonned using Craig's List and used my own instincts and knowledge to find a suitable place.

Finally, back in early April I found a place that would suit both of us, at least for the interim. The one bedroom apartment is in an older highrise building near shopping and transportation. There is a swimming pool plus gym facilities nearby as well. All of this was keeping Brad in mind, so he could continue his training (remember, he's into arm wrestling, and a Canadian champion in his weight and age group plus tenth in the world in the same category). So finding a place was one hurdle behind me. I moved in on May 1st.

Then there was a pay raise at work in my job as a concierge. This was another positive step forward and certainly helped in paying off the debts accummulated in 2007 after my illness. I was sick for over a year until the cause was found that was contributing to the extremely high blood pressure and a heart murmur. Once the cause was found, the remedy was quick and I was soon able to return to work. All this is a long and separate story which I'll get back to sometime later. Now back to the commitment issue.

Then there was a change of companies but I have remained at the same work place (change of contract). This also meant another raise in pay. Another very positive step. So in the interim there are still belongings in storage that have to be moved into the new place. This still needs to be resolved. More on that later.

Now I am waiting for Brad to arrive. After our many instant messages on msn back in February and even a phone call, there was a two week break in his messaging, either IM or email, etc. Then early March I got an IM stating that he was at sea of the east coast. It shouldn't have been totally unexpected since he had been talking about helping a friend of his repair an engine on a boat (ship?) before this happened. If people have a failing, it is a failing to communicate their intentions. Saying what he was planning to do would have cause less upset, and I was upset, both because I was unsure whether the plans drawn up were going to happen, and upset because I was thinking of his safety. In his IM he stated that the move was delayed so he could continue in his career (mariner) and would wait until his return. I am still waiting. The last time I heard from him was in mid-March and nothing since but I do understand he is at sea for months with little contact with those ashore.

I will continue later since i've got to get ready for work, another day as a concierge. Expect more this evening when there is more time to spend on writing down my thoughts. - Volker

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