Showing posts with label deaths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deaths. Show all posts

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Life and Our Part in it...

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages." William Shakespeare

The quote above often comes to mind when I read about discussions about life, death, the fear of death and so on. Birth as well as death are all part of life, our existance, so why fear what cannot be avoided. It seems logical to accept the inevitable. We do have some control, depending upon our station in life, on how we live our lives and the manner in which we exit (die) but the basics of being born, living our lives and dying remains the same. We can do what we like but that particular outcome cannot be changed.

So live life fully, love others as well as yourselves, and toss fear aside for its just an imposter. Fear just muddies the works and confuses the matter. Be honest and respect yourself as well as others, even your supposed enemies. Honour the Earth, the flora and fauna for they are as much a part of this living cycle. Share with others, both your successes and failures. Greet death as a doorway to yet another existance, another reality, like moving from one room to another.

Those are my thoughts on the matter, for today anyway. Enjoy your weekend and your part(s) in life!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

An update

Some of you may have been wondering why Brad's not here with me at the moment or where he's at right now. Well, we've been in regular communication for the past few weeks via email mostly but also msn. To set your minds at ease, there's a logical reason why things have turned out this way.

First off, his grandfather passed away, and those of us that have had to go through the greaving process know mourning take its time and is different with each person. Just check out my "Emotions" post from earlier this month and you will see, its not easy. For someone that's had to deal with the death of someone real close for the first time, it cannot be easy at all. Under those circumstances, our thinking is not clear, logical and may lack reason but everything in its time will lead to closure.

So, here we are with Brad ready to move forward but other family members have not gotten through to closure. I mentioned to him last night, you cannot control the emotions/actions of others but you can control your own. At his request, I am helping him get here by air, so that we can get on with what we had planned personally and in business. Its the best action for all concerned. Brad will have to post his own thoughts on all of this to give his own account but this is the gist of it. For the moment he's still in Nova Scotia going between his home town and Halifax but things are looking brighter for both of us!

My concern for his health and well-being was logical, and now knowing the reason, all is well. Brad is safe and very much alive. More good news to come!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Hope for the human spirit

A friend of mine in Pennsylvania sent me this story some months ago, so I thought to share the story with others:

 

"For those who know "dog love", or "pet love", and what it can do for the human spirit..."


"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me.
"Can't you do anything right?"
Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.

"I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving." My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.

What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it.  He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived.

But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of t he sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article." I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons: too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?" The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement.

"He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?"

"Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog."

I looked at the pointer again The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. "I'll take him," I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.

"Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.

"You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw.  Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers."

"I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article...

Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. .his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.
Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly.
Live While You Are Alive.
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.  Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

Do share this with someone.
 Lost time can never be found.

Share this story with others.  It may make a difference in someone's life!  -  Volker

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Famous last words

A friend of mine in Pennsylvania sent me an email a couple of days ago with a link to an article and video about a 46 year old professor that wanted to leave others, especially his children a legacy.  Check out the following link to learn more about  Randy Pausch:  Famous last words - Times online and what he had to say.  The focus wasn't on the cancer that was to end his life but a meaningful message for his children and others.  Comments?

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Recent deaths of sealers off Cape Breton

The recent deaths of seal hunters off Cape Breton gave me a bit of a shock on the weekend. Since Brad is still at sea off Nova Scotia my heart almost stopped. I learned the details from the news on tv and more when I did some research on the net the other day. A fishing vessel was being towed by a coast guard ship after having some troubles. Then at about 1:14 am the fishing vessel capsized after running up on ice. Three persons sleeping below deck drowned and a fourth is still missing. The two that survived were above keeping watch. These were needless deaths as far as I can tell. So why were the six men allowed to remain on the vessel being towed in the first place? Hopefully the investigations into this matter will shed some light into this and hopefully such things may be prevented in future. Whether you agree with it or not, the seal hunt itself is another issue entirely.

Now I haven't heard from Brad since before Easter. I have since heard that the ice has been an issue this year. With all the snowstorms in central and eastern Canada and now the melting causing flooding, such as in Ontario, I am sure that the resulting melt water is affecting the current outflow into the Atlantic. This and the wind would cause issues with the sea ice. More on this later. - Volker