Relationships

In the autumn 2010 I learned that Brad was not coming west after being mislead for some time.  A friend of mine in Pennsylvania had some choice words to say but if I were to condense it down to the basics, the word she used was coward!  He's also got himself into a little bit of a problem but I'll leave it at that.  Live, learn and move on.

Now since June of last year I have an adopted son (Wahid) who is currently studying at a college in Indonesia.  When he is finished college (it transitions between high school and university), my son will come here to live with me.  Because he did so well in his exams in December 2012, I allowed him to purchase a Persian flatnose cat.  She was 16 months old when she came home but early in the new year (2013) she was taken to a vet with the guardian thinking she was sick.  Well, it turned out she was pregnant and had 4 kittens in March.  Unfortunately, 2 of them died but the remaining 2 survived and my son asked me to choose names for them.  I chose Emilie and Marie.  When both of them were two months old, there was a break in at the home and Emilie went missing.  She did not return home again.

Marie remains and is now in her 6th month.  She will be joining me here in Canada in December.  I had originally chosen January but my son asked me to move the date up.  Now I'm cat-proofing the place until to have it ready for her arrival.  The photo above is a recent image of her.  She has the typical Persian features of the long hair and short legs.  The white comes from the father (who we do not know) since the mother was chocolate in colour.  Marie has a small patch of dark hair between her ears, otherwise she's white!

My son was 15 years old when I got to know him after his parents had died in a car accident some six months before.  Now he's 17 and growing fast.  We've exchanged a lot of photos since June of last year. 

I also have an Avocado tree which I started from a pit a couple of months ago.  I will post a few photos of that the next time.

So those are the main events of note so far.  Hope all is well!

- Volker

Coast Mountains and some thoughts

Saturday afternoon, late before the sunset, I was up on Burnaby Mountain north of where I live to take in the view of the snow-capped mountains to the north.  The photo above is just one of a series taken that afternoon. The scene here looks out toward the mountains from the north side of Burnaby Mountain.  The boats in the bottom of the photo are heading up Indian Arm.  There were a number of boats out that afternoon, including a sailboat.

The temperatures have gotten warmer and are around 10 degrees Celsius at the moment.  The rain is back but there are plenty of signs of spring around.  Crocuses, spring heathers,  forsythias and other spring flowers and shrubs are in bloom now, even the first magnolias.

At work, I have someone working with me into the second week and we get along great.  He's a Gemini, like Brad, and he loves it where he's working now.  If you don't know, I'm a Leo!  It made me think of what it would be like working with Brad.  That was one of the original plans, and I'd see to it happening if he's still interested and up to it.  With a year or two here he'd be a changed man with a broader, deeper understanding of life and what its all about.  It would be awesome to have a hiking companion too!

Well, I'm going to have a quick shower and then head off to bed.  Its nearing 10:30 pm and the morning comes fast enough.  Have a good night, or good day, guys!

~ Volker

Cape Split, Nova Scotia

I've been watching a number of shows on television lately that are set in Canada's Atlantic provinces, such as Nova Scotia where Brad was raised and lives.  Cape Split is just one of a number of places that capture my interest.  When I finally to get down to Nova Scotia, that will certainly be a place that Brad and I will visit along with anyone else that would like to join along.  Awesome place and view!

Volker

thoughts

This morning as I woke up I was thinking of Brad and his situation.  I thought of helping him by discussing his past, his childhood in particular.  His parents divorces and he was tossed from one home to the other, from his father's place to his mother's, sometimes on his own.  Now if I understand things correctly, he's living with his girlfriend/fiancee, even though his sexual orientation hasn't been sorted out on his part.  He says he's not straight, perhaps at least bisexual, but he's the one that need to sort out that issue, I can't do that for him.

But getting back to the root issue, his childhood and the divorce if his parents, anyone I've known that has come from a similar situation (divorce or separation), has had issues for the rest of his/her life.  I know of a friend from a similar situation and family members in the same as well, so its from experience I mention this.

Today I read a news article in a local paper dealing with youth sex and sexual exploitation but the article I found in the Newsleader, and the same one in a Burnaby paper, avoids the root causes which are mentioned in the report that the news article is based upon.  The report itself is an overview of several reports that go into greater detail.  The root causes are an unstable home life, non-supportive parents, abuse in the home, and the list goes on.  Why does the media avoid the obvious.  Is it a bias or lack of focus?  Your guess is good as mine.

So my thoughts have followed a theme today and revert back to my friend Brad.  The thoughts I had this morning were of my reading fairy tales to his children (Grimm's Fairy Tales come to mind, of which there are several that I thought of reading, such as the Fisherman and his Wife, Frau Holle and others which come to mind).  All of these are not stories alone but also contain morals and ethics, things to live by in life.  There's a way of breaking the cycle and that begins in our childhood so that the next generation doesn't repeat the same mistakes as the generation that preceded it.  So a reading of the story before bedtime gave me the scene in my mind of not only Brad's child listening to the reading but also Brad himself.  My book is in German, so I would have to translate as I went along.  Its good that I've read these stories many times over the years.  The book itself was a gift from my mother who brought it over from a visit to Germany in 1962, so its been around for a while and seen better days.  The book itself is in good condition though the sleeve is gone years ago.

I plan to purchase a property in Nova Scotia in an area where Brad lives.  This is all in advance of my retirement.  I turn 65 in only six years from now.  My presence there will allow me to mentor and to be of assistance when necessary, such as watching his children.  Its the least I can do for him.  I feel obligated as if this was decided before I was born.  Everything in life happens for a reason and this situation is not alone in that.  Many factors are at play here even before I buy a property out there on the east coast.  One factor is my health and the slower pace in the Atlantic provinces should help to lessen the health issues if not resolve them completely.  We shall see... I hope you've all had an awesome weekend!

~ Volker

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day, guys!  I found the star and heart on Burnaby Mountain a few years ago while on a visit.  They kind of express my thoughts today, and they are one the only Valentine that matters to me, B, where ever he is.  A day doesn't go by where he's not in my thoughts in some way.  Have an awesome day!!! - V

clock tower

This is another of the photos I took earlier in the week when we still had nice weather.  This is a clock tower on West Hastings Street at Granville Street in downtown Vancouver.  There is a schooner at the top of the weather vane.

When I came home this evening, I had a light supper and then fired up the computer the check emails and such.  The only problem was I have two user accounts set up, one for me and the other for Brad.  I clicked on Brad's instead of mine and started his up instead.  Then I had to switch users to get mine going.  I must have had Brad on my mind at the time I was getting the computer started up.  Its the first time I've done that.

Now I'm going to have a quick shower and then go to bed.  Its moving toward midnight here on Canada's west coast.  Have an awesome weekend, guys! - V

New years thoughts

Right now I'm finishing up a bottle of French sparkling white wine, Veuve du Vernay, but if I had my boyfriend by my side or I was at his,it would be a case of us sharing the same, and I have a bottle of Spanish white to share as well (not even opened).  My thoughts are on Brad at the moment and I hope all is well, both for him and who he's with.

I am looking at properties in Nova Scotia at the moment (onlline). Once my debts are paid off there is money to invest and what better way to invest than in property that we can both benefit from.  Since the money that I came out here with is gone due to health issues, there are adjustments necessary.  Life is full of this!  Land prices here in British Columbia are insanely expensive, so the funds will stretch further back east than they will here.  I am looking at retirement and those years are not that far away.  Moving east to the Maritimes would be like a new adventure.  I'm still not to old for that nor is Brad by any stretch of the imagination.

Have a happy, healthy and safe celebration and all the best for 2012!  - V

online

I slept in this morning and didn't get up until late.  It was after 11 am when I did.  Then I took a shower and slowly got dressed, and I do mean slowly, a T-shirt first and then more as time went on.  After brunch, I hit the computer.

I even had Brad on my mind for hours before I got up out of bed.  In cases like that, he's likely got me on his as well.  If he was here, we wouldn't be bored, not one bit!

After hours of online research on genetic mutations, mitochondrial DNA and related matters in the hope of finding the cause of my high blood pressure issue (well, one of many possibilities), I've decided to set that all aside and do something else to rest my eyes.

I may watch a movie or two.  I have enough of them on DVD when there's nothing of interest on TV.  So, what did you do on Boxing Day? - V

Christmas wish

What I'd most like for Christmas is to have my favourite friend (Brad) with me even if its a short while.  I know things are a challenge at the moment for him to do so but I'm always hoping for the best and keeping my thoughts on the positive.  My cell phone is always with me, even at night.  Regardless, I hope you have your dreams fulfilled.  Have a wonderful Christmas! - V

the look part 2 - tattoos and sunglasses

I find this guy hot despite the tattoos which I'm not too fussy about.  For some reason the look of him wearing his sunglasses reminds me of my friend Brad.  Well, we can dream, can't we?

I'm taking another easy weekend.  Earlier in the week I developed a hangnail on one of my fingers.  This condition crops up in the colder months of the year.  Well, I took a pair of clippers to rid myself of the hangnail.  Unfortunately, I developed an infection and had to disinfect a needle so I could drain the pus that had developed in a pocket to one side of the fingernail.  The infection usually clears up after that from past experience.  The pain in that finger is much less since the draining too!

There are a number of Christmas themed movies on television now.  I guess that will be with us until the season has passed.  Meantime, we'll just have to put up with it until we're tired of it all.  Then we can always turn off the TV and listen to music or have a conversation with someone.  That would be a novel idea!

In the meantime, enjoy your weekend and have a great time of it! - V

cars and stuff

Back in 2008 when Brad was first making plans to come out west and hopefully stay a while, he was driving this vehicle.  Unfortunately, the car broke down in the Gaspe region of Quebec.  In order to raise the funds necessary for the repairs, he and his brother worked as dishwashers in Montreal.  Later, Brad was working in the Gaspe region closer to where the car was working on a boat.  He was a mariner after all.

We messaged each other while he was in that latter region, as often as we could.   I guess after the repairs were done, he must have gotten homesick, so he drove east rather than west as I had expected.  I'm wasn't that hard on him and still am not.  We were all young once and emotions well up inside.  We do what we have to do.  Likely the car breaking down had something to do with it all.  Things were going great up until then.

At some point, when Brad is ready, he will get out here.  There's more than enough work out here, more than there might be back east.  All he has to do is make the move, even if someone has to come with him to make it all work.  He knows what I'm talking about.

So Brad, you want another car?  We can make it work here and arrange for it in the way we discussed.  Just get your ass out here and the rest will happen.  Perhaps December or early in the new year?  Love you!  What else can I say. - V

thoughts on Brad

This isn't Brad but model Josh.  I spent a long time thinking about Brad last evening and this morning.  There isn't a day that goes by where my thoughts aren't with him in some way.  I wake up in the morning to one of his images posted up in my bedroom and also the same image as a wallpaper on my computer.  And I'm sure his thoughts are on me as well even though he can't communicate with me directly.  Easy access to a computer would solve that but he doesn't have that option at the moment.

We are both friends on Windows Live where he is my only favourite and also linked on my family listing.  I consider him like family anyway and treat him as such.  Its an awful thing to be from a child from a divorce, tossed from one parent to the other and then left to fend for himself.  The friends that I know that come from such circumstances haven't fared all that well in life, and its not confined to friends.  I have family members from similar circumstances, half-siblings, so I know better than most what he might be going through.

All that aside, where Brad lives jobs are difficult to find (the east coast of Canada, Nova Scotia in fact).  That's why many leave for central or western Canada in order to find employment and make a life for themselves which is what I've been trying to convince him to do, with my help of course.  I shoot off some funds now and then as I can afford it.  Keep in mind that I am still trying to get my own finances in order after the mini-stroke I suffered back in May.  It was around that time that I heard from him last.  I guess I would best describe myself as a father figure in his life.  Like every true father would I worry about him.

I suspect from his life experiences to date that Brad has trouble trusting people.  I mean, his very birth parents have let him down.  The reasons for that are varied and many I am sure but someway we have to find a way out of this mess.  Everything that I've promised, I have honoured, so at some point I hope that he will open his heart to trust the very person that feels the most for him.  This will certainly help him with other relationships.  We don't live in a vacuum, you know!

What I'd most like to do is wrap my arms around him and give Brad a great big hug letting him know that I love him and that I'm there for him.  Mere words are not enough.  We have a world full of people from different walks of life that say many things and never live up to them, politicians in particular.  Its action that gives it all meaning.  So, Brad, if you or someone you know has happened upon this post, take the time to comment.  You'll long not forget it.!

Be kind and forgiving of people.  Life is like a stage as Shakespeare pointed out.  We come, play our part and then exit.  While we're here (physical presence on Earth), we learn from our experiences and others learn from us, or so it should be, so those are some of my thoughts for the day.   - V

virtual view

Late yesterday afternoon I took the time to do a virtual tour of Brad's home town. The street view that Google has developed is good for that. I checked out a bit of Water Street and then viewed Main Street north and south of the centre of town. Its a nice, clean community from what I've seen, and this hasn't been the first time.

In the past I've also checked out places in Europe that I've seen on past trips to see how much has changed. Its another adventure!

Have a great day, guys, and enjoy your adventure!! Now I'm off to work. - V

birthday coming up

It that time of year when my birthday comes fast and furious. That date is a week from tomorrow (Sunday). I'd most like to have my bf (Brad) with me even if temporarily. If that weren't possible, even a message from him would suffice at this point. Yes, I'm concerned about him. I wouldn't be telling you the truth if I said otherwise. This always happens when i haven't heard from him for a while but as in the past, he always delivers and makes contact when it counts! I know he doesn't have ready access to a computer, so messaging me is a challenge even if he wants to do it badly. I get in a little melancholy mood when this time period comes. Meantime, I have a whole week of work to go before that weekend comes. I hope your's has been awesome! That's the way it should be. - V

relationships

I've long had a spiritual and emotional connection with my boyfriend. Neither of us would deny it! I think he'd like to have me in his arms as much as I would like to have him in mine! How's your relationship and where would you place it? - V

horoscope (gemini)

I don't want out leave Brad out of the picture as far as a horoscope reading is concerned. He's a Gemini, so here's the entry for the same week as the Leo entry given a few days ago.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Primatologist Jane Goodall, who lived for years among chimpanzees in Tanzania, is one of the world's top experts on the creatures. Can you guess what her favorite toy was when she was young? A stuffed monkey, of course. There were no doubt foreshadowings like that in your own childhood or adolescence, Gemini. Right? Signs of the magic you would eventually seek to ripen? Seeds of destiny that had just begun to sprout? Now would be a good time to reflect in those early hints. You'll benefit from updating your understanding of and commitment to the capacities they revealed.

(From: Free Will Astrology - week of June 9)

Interestingly, I have a few Gemini aspects in my natal chart. When I was a young child, I too had a stuffed monkey as a toy and have the photos to prove it! There are two images of such. - V

music

I've had a number of boyfriends over the years but Brad has to be the one that has grabbed my attention for the longest and for good reasons. Those in the past were absorbed with self-interest and only satisfying their own egos. One came all the way to Vancouver from Toronto but all he wanted or seemed to be interested in was sex. Perhaps he wasn't that good in communicating, not everyone is, but that was the impression I got.

Brad on the other hand, knows what to say and when to say it. We have a natural spiritual and emotional bond. Even when I had my latest health issues, he contacted me at a time when I actually needed a lift. Since he doesn't have a computer of his own, sometimes communicating is a bit of a challenge but not impossible. He always seems to find a way. For what ever reasons, he cannot be out here until Christmas at the earliest. When he does arrive, it will be well worth the wait for both of us, and he knows it! He'll be wondering why it all took so long! It'll be awesome to hear that deep, sexy voice in person rather than over the phone and wrapping my arms around that awesome body of his. I can't wait to kiss him either! Hey sexy, get here and we'll all be the better for it! I can feel that warm, moist breath of his now!!! Let's make some music and all your past troubles will be just there, in the past and ancient history!!! - V

nick II

Well, I thought I'd tease you guys some more with another photo of Nick M from All American Guys! And no, I don't think its Nick Manzoni though the resemblance is uncanny. There's a bit of an age difference. You'll just have to find out from the folks at AAG!

Either way, he does resemble my own bf (Brad) in some way, like the dark hair and the awesome abs and general good looks! Speaking of Brad, I was kept up early in the night thinking of him and then again this morning. What a way to start and end a night's sleep! I think of him often and perhaps I was on his mind too....

After I get my laundry done I'll be out for another walk up to nearby Queens Park. Its sunny and warm (finally), of course, some places in North America are getting too much heat it would appear from the weather reports. We shouldn't complain too much. For most of us, summer is far too short anyway!

Have an awesome day, guys!!!! - V

nick

Here's the rest of Nick with muscles to adour! He reminds me somewhat of Brad and his awesome physique. Have an awesome weekend, guys! - V

update II

I heard from Brad on the weekend. There's no love lost between us and care about each other as we always have, just wish he was here but he'd like me there. For health reasons I can't follow through for the moment since I'm recovering from a mini-stroke.. another one may be involved. Some at work miss my presence..my smile and wit, etc. I just got out of the hospital yesterday afternoon after being there since Monday. More news later! - V