Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Today would have been my late brother's birthday and he (Norbert) would have been 57 if he had survived the event of early 1974.  I was fourteen months older than him.  This is a photo of us during the first Christmas in Canada in December 1957.  Norbert is in the foreground and I in the back.  I was able to suppress the emotions for years but since the last of our parents passed on in 1999 (mother), an event last year brought it all out and may have lead to the first of my two mini-strokes or may have been at the same time as the stroke.  Who knows!  I had been waiting for months for Brad to show up from the east coast.  When he didn't show up, I was scanning earlier photos of my brother and others.  The emotions came out and I wept for days in private as I was trying to make sense of everything.  I do not fault Brad  for anything.  I'm sure he had his reason and was dealing with his own demons!

Anyway, Norbert and I had spent most of his years sharing the same bedroom, so his passing was very difficult in the beginning.  Later as I was occupied with other situations and events over the years, the emotions concerning his death were pushed back in my mind.  The event of 2010 brought it all out again.  Such is life.  We take the good with the bad and make the most of it as best we can.  Its a difficult time of year so close to Christmas! - V


Ramesh Sood said...

You appear to have always been a courageous soul.. that's what I could get from your post.. and tears.. do dilute pain.. see my post.. I PENJOY WRITING.. so its good to cry sometimes...it cleanses up.. yes, I understand the loss of a sibling.. lost my sister when she was 60 this year.. not easy.. but then that's how the life is.. each on his or her own path.. thanks for your first visit to my page and I hope it would not be the last.. thanks!!

SpiritMountainGuy said...

I do what I can with what comes my way. Its been difficult the last two Christmases for some reason after years of suppressing the emotions about my brother's passing. At one point during the weeks before my mother passed on herself, I could hear her weeping in her room. It was most likely about Norbert, my brother. I learned after her death and the autopsy that she had suffered a series of mini-strokes. I have had two so far and I'm only 58. The most recent one was in early May of this year. So far with medications, things are under control.

I'll be back to read more on a visit to your blog in the very near future.

Have a healthy and prosperous new year. Its not only money and wealth but so much more that is important in life!

~ Volker

DeepBlue said...

I think you've put the finger on a very important (negative) aspect on the way we deal with events in our life. "Supression"!

I might be wrong, but I think it is the supression of your feelings that caused the strokes. Supressing pain of past events can be very detrimental to ones health.

I can tell that since my mother has been able to face the aweful memories of the sexual abuse she endure in her childhood, she has slowly recovered her health, physical, psychological and spiritual. Evverything is linked.

I cannot encourage you more to explore those dark corners of your soul. We must face our demons with kindness and compassion and we will realized that they are not so fearful as we thought they were.

May 2012 brings you peace of mind and serenity!

Thanks for stopping by my blog. And I understand what you mean by "prosperity"!

Take care. Be kind to yourself.

SpiritMountainGuy said...

Thanks, Jon! I had a more or less sleepless night. If sleep came, it was fitful. I may be all the emotions that were brought up Sunday evening, some of the medications I am taking to keep the blood pressure low, or a combination of the two.

All that aside, I am in a much better mood today than the previous evening.

I have been reading up on genetic mutations (at least what is known at the moment) and their role in disease. I plan to post something on that in the future. I have already done so on Facebook.

Thanks for the kind thoughts, and have an awesome week! - V

red_eye said...


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I just add my blog.
That 's why I give you the tip.


miracleman said...

Dear SMG,
I wanted to wish you personally a happy and healthy New Year. Heartache and pain make us stronger and I pray for your strength. I had a heart attack and bypass surgery and I now look at it as one the biggest blessing of my life. Sweet kisses and love, MM

SpiritMountainGuy said...

Thank you, Martin, for your comments and suggestion. I will give some thought to this in the new year.

MM, thanks! We all have our trials and challenges in life doing the best that we can with what we have. It's not always easy but we do what we must.

A very happy, healthy and prosperous 2012 to all!

~ Volker